Humanity
by ParaTobEnce
Summary: Castiel makes a difficult decision, and they all just get to live. Originally based on a tumblr post, but it kind of spiraled from there.
1. you can start to make it better

Castiel was never fully certain when the idea first took hold in his mind - whether it was when he realized he cared for Dean, when he rebelled for him, when he saw how much pain the Winchester boys were forced to deal with due to their lives as Hunters - it could have been any moment, really, but he never thought he would act on it. Oh, he was sure that, in centuries to come, once his friends had left him and he was all alone, alienated from both humanity and his own family, that he would regret never finally doing what he knew he should. For there was no question about it, it was indeed the right thing to do. It was what they _deserved_. But Cas was far too selfish, he thought, too cowardly to do what he knew he must. And so, when the idea formed in his head, he considered it for the briefest of moments, before hastily pushing it aside, to be hidden behind his doubts and fears and other, more important, concerns. But the idea never truly faded, and he never really forgot.

It was not until they were headed to SucroCorp, geared up to take down Dick Roman and destroy the Leviathans, that he began to see it as less of an idea, and more of a possibility. Of a reality. And when Dean drove that blade of a bone through his neck, and the three of them were together dragged into Purgatory, Castiel understood that it was not what he should do; it was something that _must _be done. As he watched over Dean's sleeping body, guarding him from the monsters in this brief reprieve from the terrors they faced together, he made a promise - to himself, and, more importantly, to Dean. He had to do this one thing, the only thing he could. He had to make it right.

~o*o~

They sit together in the hotel room Sam has rented. Team Free Will, together again at last. Dean and Cas have escaped Purgatory, they have found Sam, the Leviathans have all but disappeared, and they are safe. Until the next monster comes, and they are forced to take up arms once more. To fight once more. In truth, Castiel thinks, they are the opposite of Team Free Will, for they have never truly had a choice in the matter. It is always the three of them, _they_ must fight, _they_ must save the world, and _they_ must shoulder the blame when they fail. Because they are among the few who know, who actually stand a chance against everything that's out there. But the Winchesters, they don't deserve this. They don't deserve this life of hardship, of loss, of guilt. They deserve better.  
They are safe, Castiel thinks, and there will be no better time than now. With this conclusion, he rises, walking to Sam and placing a gentle hand on his forehead. He feels the cool trickle of memory leave the mind of the young man - but still just a boy - before him, as he collapses onto the bed, unconscious. Dean barely has time to begin a startled exclamation before he, too is falling backwards, leaving his memory behind.

He gazes down at the two sleeping figures, at his only friends in the world, and he realizes he cannot simply watch over them as they live their lives. For as long as he has known that the two of them deserve to be happy, to make their own choices, to _live_, he has never once entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, he deserves that, too.

And so he reaches inside himself, past his vessel, into the deepest corner of his true being. He feels it there, glowing, pulsating slowly in his grasp. He thinks of all he's done; for his father, for his brothers and sisters, for humanity, for the two impossible boys that lay before him, and he pulls. And as every strand of himself connected to his Grace snaps, he feels a sharp spasm of pain. But he smiles past the agony, knowing that finally, _finally_, he is getting what he deserves: to be happy, to be loved, _to be human._


	2. there'll be peace when you are done

The first time the dark man in the suit walks into Winchester & Di Angelo Car Insurance and Repair, and then right back out again, no one thinks much of it. People walk in by mistake all the time. Never mind the fact that there's something different about this man, something that tugs at their brains, as if trying to get them to remember what's long been forgotten. After all, it had only been about a year since they had founded the place. Of course they had met someone like that man while on the road. Of course they had forgotten him since. But they say nothing about it, and try to push it out of their minds.

When the man walks in once more, a week later, Cas tries to shake off the same feeling he had gotten before - the feeling that this man was dangerous, not to be trusted, that he should grab his friends and drive as far away as he possibly could - and greets him with a half-smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Is there something I can help you with?" he asks, a false note of amiability in his voice.

"You're Castiel?" the man responds, and though the man's accent should be a surprise, for some reason Cas finds that he is expecting it.

"Yes," he replies, his voice gruff now, as his mistrust of the man before him begins to manifest. "I'm Castiel Di Angelo."

The man smirks a little at that, but continues with his query, "And what about Winchester? Where is he?"

Dean, hearing his name mentioned, peeks his head in from the door of the garage. "Something we can help you with?" he asks, voice cold, as he is immediately aware of the discomfort radiating from Cas.

"Oh it's nothing of great import," the man replies evenly, unimpressed by Dean's hostility. "I was just curious as to what exactly it is that you do here."

"We repair cars," Dean says aggressively, "and we sell car insurance. Like it says on the sign. Is there anything else we can help you with, like maybe finding your way out?"

He glares, and the man smirks even wider than before. He glances at the window of Sam's office, where he's busy explaining the finer points of an insurance policy to a potential client, before he turns and walks out, looking satisfied, and leaving a very unnerved Dean and Castiel in his wake. They look at each other for a moment, and then both go back to work.

~o*o~

As the years pass, the boys all but forget about the dark man who knew their names. They choose to replace the memory of his visit with other, far more pleasant moments: crowding around a little television to watch the Super Bowl together, summer barbeques in Dean's backyard, Sam's wedding to a gentle librarian he meets through work (it takes more than the usual amount of meetings for Sam to secure a contract with her, due mainly to the fact that it isn't car insurance that they focus on whenever she comes by).

Around the time that Dean and Cas reveal to Sam that they had moved in together, Sam announces that his wife is pregnant. Neither party is altogether surprised. Nine months later, Robert Dean Winchester is born, and on his six-month birthday, Sam sits in the nursery all night, unable to shake the feeling that something horrible will happen if he leaves his son alone. As the first light of dawn creeps through the window, Sam, finally satisfied that his child is safe, traipses back to his room and collapses on the bed next to his wife.

A few months after Bobby turns two, he gets his first cousin. Castiel and Dean adopt a little girl, and they name her - for reasons hidden beyond the edge of their memories - Joanna Ellen Di Angelo-Winchester. And when she gets older and wants to know how her daddies met, Dean will smile and tell her that Cas saved his life, and Castiel will get a far-off look in his eyes, trying to push away the feeling that there's something more to the story. Something he just can't quite remember.


End file.
